Crash of Okotie’s second marriage: We’re shocked, sad –Church members, celebrities

By Paul Ukpabio 

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Okotie with ex-wife Stephanie

Shock, sympathy and caution still characterise the atmosphere around yuppie Pastor Chris Okotie of the Household of God Church, a few days after he publicly announced the break-up of his four-year-old second marriage to delectable ex-wife Stephanie, at a Sunday morning worship service. The news, which immediately spread like wild fire across the country, jolted many who could not help but recall the glamour and public support that followed his marriage just four years ago. 

Memories of his break-up with Tina, his first wife, remain fresh in the mind. Tina, who had come all the way with him for 14 years, had travelled to America where her prolonged stay caused members of the church anxiety. It took Pastor Okotie time before he finally announced more or less in the same manner he did just last Sunday of the crash of his marriage to Tina his first wife, at a service in his church. “Tina was not coming home to the marriage anymore,” he had said. The marriage was over and he was moving on. 

When our reporters visited the church during the mid-week service, the first of such since Pastor Okotie made his second famous marriage break-up speech, the mood that enveloped the church reminded one of the same mood that characterised the church when Tina left. Everywhere, there were echoes of un-answered questions. For most of the members who longed for more answers, they defied the rain of Wednesday, to ensure their presence in church. The expectation was much. They wanted to know more. What could have made their jerry-curled pastor to separate from his second wife Stephanie, who until that Sunday was usually called ‘mummy’ at the church?

After the praise worship, Pastor Okotie, in an all-white kaftan, stepped into the church, escorted by security men like the pop star that he had been many years ago. When he got to the pulpit, he took over the microphone and went into singing and spiritual chant. He had transformed to the spiritual realm. He spoke in tongues, jumped and gyrated all over as members flowed along to catch up with his pace. For many inside the church, he was the centre of attraction. They just stared at him, with much feelings for him, feelings that they could not express to him, which they would have loved to express. Many among them would have loved to wrap him up and tell him, ‘it is well’ because, once again, their loving pastor is alone, and the church is now without a ‘mummy.’ 

Finally, it was time for the pastor’s sermon, and the members shifted on their seats, with much expectation that here again, the pastor would tell them more about his separation from his second wife Stephanie. But he talked on how to grow in Christianity; how to grow into maturity and be in tune with and in a solid relationship with God. It was a moving sermon, which told the church members that their pastor is moving on in his relationship with God. He may not have matured fully, but he is in the process of maturing, and hopes one day, to mature fully. As for Stephanie and that marriage, he did not say a word. Pastor Okotie has moved on…? 

What some members said after midweek service

Around the vicinity of the Household of God Church, the members shied away from dropping comments on the break-up as the church ground bristled with security. You would think the church had advised the members not to talk about the incident. But not so outside the church. The members commented freely about the incident but most pleaded to remain anonymous.

Mandy: We are sad. And right now, we are worried about our pastor, worried about how this marriage separation is going to affect him. Personally, I wish it didn’t happen.

Ayo: I don’t want to talk about it. It is his personal decision. I don’t know what happened and what made him take the decision. I am a family man, I take decisions in my house and when I do, I don’t expect people to change it or scold me for it. I would have talked more if it was some other matter. This is my pastor’s matter, not mine.

Chuks: Definitely, there are unanswered questions. What beats me is that there was no indication at all. I meanwhile, I have been attending Household all this while, I can’t believe what is happening. I don’t know what to say.

Mummy B: Something is wrong somewhere. No two people live together for that long and then part without something having taken place. I was hoping that Pastor would tell us more today, but he didn’t. That cannot stop my family and I from attending the church though. It didn’t stop us when he parted ways with his first wife. It won’t stop us now. My husband didn’t come today because he is not around. If he was around, he would have been here. 

Sister Esther: Our Pastor needs our prayers at this time. I feel terribly sad. It is a blow to me because the pastor and his wife were a beautiful couple. The woman is so beautiful, but God knows best. Who are we to judge them? We cannot judge them. Like I said, God knows best. 

Dapo: I feel for Pastor, truly I feel for him. He is such a gentleman, only God knows what went wrong. It can’t be an easy decision for them, but one cannot rule out childlessness. You remember that it was an issue in his first marriage. Women are particular about having children for their husbands. I don’t think Stephanie will be an exception, even if she had already had children in another marriage.          

What some celebrities say:

Senator Ita Giwa (Politician)

I think marriage is a private thing between a couple, and not something that the public should influence. It is a private thing if a couple have any difference between each other, they should call themselves together and sort it out between them. I know Pastor Kris Okotie and I know they will sort it out with each other. It is beyond us, it is beyond the public. It is their private matter.      

Bashorun Dele Momodu (Publisher) 

It is sad and unfortunate that the marriage did not work. I feel like a stakeholder in that marriage. I attended their wedding and I was very excited about the love they exuded openly. Pastor Kris has been my friend of many years. He is a man who supported me all the way during my exile years. So I feel very bad that this is happening again to him. But then, he is a human being like the rest of us. Being a pastor does not make you less human. What I like about him is that he is a very brave man, who is ready to carry his cross alone at any time. Even Jesus our Lord carried His own cross at a time. So there is nothing strange or new in men of God going through trials and tribulations. If he finds love again, I don’t think anything should stop him from doing so. He cannot live alone perpetually. Every man needs a good companion. So we can only pray that God will find him a permanent companion. He should not be discouraged. As to your question whether he should marry a foreigner, I will say that it does not matter where a woman comes from, a human being is a human being. But I do not think that his choice of a wife should be limited to his church members. A man should look beyond his immediate environment for a marital partner. In a relationship, one person must make the move.

Gloria Doyle (Musician) 

I actually feel a lot about marital issues. Pastor should settle down and go out for the right reasons before taking the step. You don’t marry a woman because she is beautiful, you don’t marry a woman because of just any casual reason. You marry a woman because you want to share your life and love with the woman. If what they professed they had in their hearts for each other was genuine, then I don’t think they will get themselves to the point of separation. 

Right now, they are not disclosing the issues that led them to this. But they just agreed to separate. As to your question about the church not having fore-knowledge of what was going to take place last Sunday, I will say that Pastor Kris has always been a very private person, he is somebody that makes his business his business. Personally, if I say that I did not see it coming, I will not be sincere. For instance, I have been with Stephanie in the church and I have seen her. Pastor Kris needs the right hand. He is a pastor and a teacher, anybody he gets married to, needs to have a vast knowledge of the Bible. I think they got married because they have been friends for long.

Tee Mac (Musician) 

There is no point two people living together as husband and wife, if they are not happy with each other. Happiness is very important in any relationship. Two people can only live and be happy with each other, if it is so sanctioned by God. But if they both think that it will save both of them a lot of stress by living apart from each other or separating from each other, then it is best they do so. There is nothing like ‘till death do us apart’ anymore, that injunction is outdated. We are in modern times and every relationship has to be guided by love and happiness. It is correct for Pastor Kris and his wife to split if the love and happiness that joined them together are no longer there. Anyway, I believe that two people can live together without being married. I wish Pastor Kris Okotie all the best and also wish his ex-wife Stephanie all the best.

Benny Obaze (House of Bevista, City Clothier) 

The separation between Pastor Kris Okotie and wife Stephanie is unfortunate. I feel for the pastor, but he probably knows best. But if you are in a marriage and it is not working out, instead of living in despair or a pretentious life, it’s better to end the relationship. Pastor Kris has been my friend and pastor, so I am sure that the decision that he has made is good for him and his now separated wife. So like he said, I think we should respect his privacy. What I can do is to pray for him so that he can find his true love. I believe something must have gone wrong which we are not privy to. 

Marriage is a very difficult thing. We can never know the whole details of what went wrong. However, God said that it is not good for a man to be alone. So I am advising him to marry again, if he sees the right partner. I support him to re-marry because a marriage did not work does not make him a bad man or does it make Stephanie a bad woman. It was an irreconcilable difference. People can get to a point that they cannot reconcile and it becomes best for them to separate, instead of living a pretentious life. I’ve known the pastor over the years, he is not pretentious. He is straight. He is still a young man, in his early 50s, and a pastor of a very big church. So he should find a good partner who will serve God with him.